Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Do you need to have any previous knowledge of Tantra to do the sessions with the Goddess?
Any knowledge you'll need before the session I will give you over the phone. Some people like to read the book first, however I personally like to learn by experiencing something and then reading about it. So what you read about afterwards in the chapters I suggest, will have much more meaning for you seeing you can apply it to your experience. The goddess will give you the book at the session.
I’ve had a tantric massage. Does the goddess do that?
She can give an excellent Tantric massage where you get to experience your sexual energy running through your body. However, in a massage you are only receiving, there is no interaction with the woman. You don’t get to experience her sexual energy or learn anything about what to do with her. It can be a good introduction if that’s what you prefer or it suits your budget at the time.
I’ve heard tantra involves non-ejaculation, is that right?
It can and there are some benefits. There is definitely a benefit in not coming too soon so you can allow your woman to go into higher states of pleasure. Tantra certainly teaches you that. However, having intercourse without ejaculation may seem a strange idea at first. A lot of people say: “Well, why make love? That’s the best part!” It appears to be the best part until you learn how to experience other forms of orgasm. You are taught ways in Tantra of having an internal orgasm called a Valley Orgasm – where you feel totally satisfied like after orgasm, but you don’t feel drained.
This certainly helps when your sex drive is less than your partners because you can make love a second, third or fourth time. Of course just hanging on to it isn’t healthy and it can make you irritable. It’s very important you are taught ways to spread the sexual energy so that this is not a concern.
Another benefit of learning to build energy through non ejaculation is that when you do come, you will be amazed at how powerful it is and so will your partner! For a lot of men, as they get older, ejaculation is more like a blip than a roar.
Most men think they orgasm when they ejaculate. However ejaculation is only one form of orgasm and it is small stuff compared to ‘whole body orgasm’. You learn about this during the sessions
Can these sessions help with virility and maintaining an erection?
It is written in the ancient texts of China and India that it was common for emperors, kings and noblemen trained in the arts of lovemaking to be passionately making love in their eighties with up to twenty consorts or lovers, all of whom they were keeping sexually satisfied.
Obviously I am not suggesting you will be able to do anything like this in one session but it will certainly give you the secrets of how to work towards a virile sex life throughout your life.
If you decide to not do anything about it now, then unfortunately you will end up like many men with prostate problems, lack of desire or even if you have the desire, you won’t be able to do anything with it. You can end up dependent on medication and no-one knows the long term effect of that. Medication can be helpful on occasion but if you would like to learn the secrets developed over 2,000 years of study and experimentation, written about in Tantra which relate to sexual virility of any age, then this could definitely be a worthwhile investment for you. You will see results during the sessions.
I feel a bit nervous about seeing the goddess. I’m a bit over weight and also I’m not sure I’ll be able to do what’s expected.
Firstly relax! You will feel very comfortable with her – that’s part of what it is to be a tantra goddess. Your weight will not be an issue or your age or her age, or even your experience. You will forget your concerns, your daily hassles and everything else she will work with who you are at essence, not your age or how you think you look. In tantra it’s called your ‘Shiva essence’. Don’t worry it will be so nourishing and reffeshing to feel so comfortable being with a woman like this.
Also you will find, it will have lasting and deeper effects with your confidence with all women. You’ll need to address your lack of confidence with women sometime; it may as well be now, with someone who can guide you.
Other questions
Why do you call the women Goddesses?
In Ancient India and China and Greece, there were women of the temples who used their sexuality in a sacred way, as healing and initiation into the mysteries and secrets of making love.
They were conduits for the mythological goddesses of love and sexuality like Aphrodite, Ishta, Venus and Shakti. In modern times, the Tantric Goddesses you meet in the session will embrace these qualities of sensuality, sexuality and grace of the ancient Goddess traditions.
The session is not religious in any way, and will not influence or change your existing religious beliefs in any way.
Goddess is not the counterpart of God!
What is the difference between Tantra Massage and what the Goddess does?
Tantric massage is a whole body massage. It is a good experience, and any of the Goddesses on this site can do that. But because you have a good sexual massage, it doesn't mean you will be any better at making love. You just lie back and receive it.
The Goddess Sessions are about what you can do to be a better lover, how to make love to a woman and to deeply satisfy you and your partner on many levels.
Here is an example of what one Goddess does in Session 1:
"I first speak to Kerry about you and prepare our session accordingly. The session takes one and a half hours. I start by making you feel comfortable and relaxed and review some of the things we will be doing. We then go into the adjoining room, which I call my Temple . It's a beautiful space where I have candles and music and soft colours. It's a sacred space, which creates a warm and intimate feeling. I like to change into transparent Goddess clothing or sensual underwear and have a robe for you. We do some preparatory things together involving connecting sexuality with love, showing you how to move your body in tantric ways that allow the sexual energy that I evoke in you to flow through us. I guide you to use breath, thought and muscle release to keep you totally connected to me and so thoroughly absorbed in the moment that nothing else exists.
While we are in Yab Yum together in close embrace, there is a connection between us on all levels and although you are filled with sexual energy, you feel no urgency to ejaculate because I teach you how to ride the waves of orgasmic energy with me as we move into the ecstasy of tantric sexual spiritual experience.
You have now moved from the theory into knowing what the dance of tantra feels like and you leave full of energy, warmth and sexual delight that you'll feel for days later.
One of the great Tantra Teachers of the past once said “When you pulsate from your toes to your head, when every fiber of your being is alive, when all the cells of your body dance, when there is a great orchestra inside you, you know you have been touched by the goddess ."
To book a Tantra Goddess session click here
Tantric Article
by Tantra Master
Kerry Riley
A WOMAN LIKES A MAN
Over the last decade more and more men have become conscious of the need to become more in touch with their feminine side. Men and women are no longer bound by the old roles of sexual stereotypes; macho-man and submissive wife is outdated. Many women have developed their more competitive, directed, assertive side and many men have cultivated their more feeling, intimate and relational side. This is a positive step. However taken to the extreme without consciously being aware of the dynamics in your relationship it can create a problem. A lot of women now complain that men are no longer “men”. That they like a man who is confident and clear, especially when it comes to giving a commitment. Someone who can show her a love that she can trust in, even when she is upset and “doing her panda bear.”
KEITH’S STORY “In my 20’s and early 30’s I was very much in touch with my male energy. I was directed, focussed and on a mission to make things happen. I started my own business in Event Management. Through listening to some of the personal development speakers at the conferences I started to expand my ideas on what it is to be a man. I met Judy, my current partner, and she encouraged me or rather insisted I develop more of this emotional, intimate, reflective side of myself. What I saw this as my feminine side. I read numerous books, tookvegetarian cooking classes,had frequent massages and gave up competitive sport to do weekend workshops on personal discovery. I became the popular sensitive new age guy I had read about. Then, through a series of circumstances, I lost my business and had even more time to explore my emotional side.After being with Judy now for nearly three years she often complains that I am not focused or decisive enough and she doesn’t feel supported by me. She tells me about other successful guys at her work. I feel criticised and hurt. Our sex life is not as passionate either”.That is why Keith came to see me. He asked me for some advice.I firstly acknowledged him for taking time to develop his more feminine side and it sounded like Judy was well in touch with her more masculine side. Having a successful career in Real Estate and taking charge of their financial situation and in their relationship in general. They had certainly progressed from the stereotype “I’m the man and you’re the woman” of their parents generation. However they had fallen into another modern new age stereotype of “sensitive guy, powerful woman.” This can be just as restrictive if you don’t realise what is happening and you become idenified with those new roles.Something else that can happen is if you as a man have equal masculine and feminine qualities and your partner has equal masculine, feminine qualities, then in bed the polarity between you is neutralised and the sexual attraction is not as powerful. What was once passionate hot sex between opposite poles becomes lukewarm lovemaking between equals.In order to recreate the fire and the powerful attraction between man and woman we need to play with our roles and to let go of the cultural ideal of what we “should” be. We need to determine what is needed in our professional life and what is needed in bed in order to get what we want. Then to take on the appropriate male or female side of our nature from one situation to another.In sexual loving it might require a woman to let down her guard, let down her resistances and open to being madly, truly and deeply loved. To connect with the goddess of love and sensuality within her, allowing the beauty of her feminine radiance to shine through. For you it may mean you need to tap more into your masculine side so she can feel your strength, directedness, confidence and especially your presence and passion.Your partner might be a successful career woman and you may often feel overpowered by her or in competition for power but there is a big chance that at her heart of hearts she still wants to be cherished and honoured as a goddess. To feel your yearning to enrapture her with your love . Not from a need for sexual satisfaction or power or control but from a burning desire to have a deep passionate heartfelt connect with the person he loves. After explaining this to Keith and Karen in a subsequent consultation I suggested the first thing they could try is to playfully explore with taking on the roles of Shiva and Shakti in a Tantric ritual, like the one I suggested in Chapter 2: Making a devotion to each other before making love and looking for the Shakti and Shiva within each other. That way they could step out of their current reality and predictable roles for a time and become the god and goddess of love. In a session like this you treat your partner as the goddess and she treats you as the divine male energy of existence. Of course all your lovemaking won’t be ritualised and nor should it be but by doing this in the ritual and experiencing how it feels you will be more willing and more able to feel the presence of Shakti and Shiva in your normal lovemaking. This is an excellent way to bring back some polarity and passion and nurture one of your woman’s deepest needs in the dance of sexual loving, to feel your masculine love in intimate union with her sacred feminine essence. I am not suggesting you shouldn’t develop your more sensitive, emotional side. Women love a man who they can be emotional and intimate with. This is an important part of Tantra, to be able to open your heart and turn sex into making love. However if it is at the expense of not feeling your male essence any more, where you find yourself becoming more indecisive, non-committal, not feeling in touch with any direction or vision and not feeling your male strenght, especially in bed. Then it is time to regather and build new confidence in your male expression of yourself. You have the ability to be in touch with your heart and feelings and at the same time embrace your male essence when you need it. To be able to be free to develop and access what is required at different times and in fact from moment to moment. Then in your lovemaking you will be able to give your woman more of whatever she needs both physically and emotionally. You will feel confident in your love. A man with ‘spine’ and an open heart is very attractive to a woman.
Tantric Article no 2
by Tantra Master
Kerry Riley
Article: August 2009
Non Ejaculation and tantra
Having intercourse but not ejaculating may seem a strange idea at first. A lot of people say: 'Well, why make love? Ejaculating is the best part!' It appears the best part until you learn how to experience other forms of orgasm. The technique of non-ejaculation offers some great benefits. After ejaculation you often feel wasted or tired or a need to eat because a loss of energy occurs. Dr Steven Chang, a Chinese Taoist master and author of the book The Tao of Sexology;s1 says he does not know why orgasm is called 'coming.' To him it appears to be more like 'going.' It is coming, coming, coming, bang, going, going, going. The great disadvantage of this is that the woman is often left frustrated while you have 'gone,' especially if she has not come. Even if she has peaked, a woman usually remains very open after orgasm because she doesn't lose energy, she gains energy from orgasm. She might release tension and be relaxed, but her energy is high and great to be around. She often enjoys continuing to cuddle, being intimate and talking about love, whereas the man tends to just close down, not only physically, but emotionally, after ejaculation. Sometimes men lose interest altogether, leaving their partners feeling devastated. This sort of behaviour can sexually scar a woman for life. A sexually aware man will continue to hold and cuddle his partner for a while because he understands his woman's needs and not because it is a burning desire for himself. His burning desire for lovemaking happens before intercourse; a woman's can often happen after intercourse. So if you can add non-ejaculation to your repertoire of lovemaking skills, you will find your energy level is still very high after a lovemaking session. Experiment by doing this in one session, then go out to dinner together. You will be totally open, sexy and loving all night, which your woman will love. When you come home you will find you are not tired but full of passion, full of love, full of desire. If you make love again practising non-ejaculation, then by the next morning your lovemaking session will be like your very first time. Practise it again and you will go off to work charged with energy throughout the entire day. This is of great benefit if you are an older person or your sexual energy is not as strong as your woman's. By the morning she has had three sessions and you are still charged and excited for the next session. There will be no problem getting a strong erection. The Chinese sex experts who practise the ancient Taoist art of love and sex consider their knowledge and methods of non-ejaculation the most important secret men can have in lovemaking. The Taoists believe that ching (the semen) is man's most important life-force. Their belief is that semen is the seed that generates life, so by reversing the process you can regenerate your own life. Once a man has ejaculated he feels flat, especially if he has ejaculated with great frequency. The Chinese believe that if a man ejaculates too often for his age and health he can experience headaches, lethargy, unclear thinking and a feeling of distance from his woman; and if he continues squandering his semen he could eventually get very sick. In 1987, Jolan Chang, in his book The Tao of Love and Sex;s2 quoted a Taoist Master, Sun S'sumo, the most prominent physician of the Tang period AD 618-906: 'When a man in his youth He usually does not understand the Tao. Or even if he does hear or read about it, He is not likely to believe it fully and practise it. When he reaches his venerable old age, He will however realise the significance of the Tao. But by then it is often too late, For he is usually too sick to benefit fully from it.' In his book;s3 Jolan relates that when he was young, he tried to follow modern sexuality research which emphasised simultaneous orgasm, but after doing this three times a day, he became very tired and several months later, sick. It took twelve years before he finally decided to follow the Taoist advice of non-ejaculation. Now he is over sixty, the age when most men make love a lot less frequently and yet he claims he makes love several times a day. 'Now I am nearly sixty, the age many men have stopped making love entirely. Yet unless I am travelling alone I usually make love several times a day. Often on a Sunday I make love two or three times in the morning and then go cycling for nearly the whole day, about twenty or thirty miles, and then make love again before going to sleep. The result is that I am not in the least exhausted, and my health could not be better or my mind more tranquil. And above all, the helpless situation is lying beside an unsatisfied mate is no longer!!!!
This article is copyright Spectra 2000 P/L and connot be reproduced without written permission of the author.
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Copyright Kerry Riley 2009 |
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